The Impromptu Introduction of Death Cobra
by crescent-moon-demon
Summary: If a new breastforce member shows up, Hellbat will be kicked out of the team! He can't let that happen! Parody of episode 'Liokaiser, Merge' Mentions of Mech/Mech slash, worshiping and excessive fangirl habits.


**C.M.D: Sooo... I wasn't gonna write any fics for this pairing until I'd watched the Victory series (which, you know, I was going to eventually, after I finished headmasters and masterforce)... but then me and Randomus were talking again, and well, I couldn't resist the urge. I just had to write a fic, especially after seeing this episode, 'Liokaiser, Merge!' ...Really, it was total fanfic fodder... I kid you not.**

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_**The Impromptu Introduction Of Death Cobra**_

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"...please."

Hellbat finished his request to the new-comer Death Cobra, quickly bowing; fingers crossed that his fellow Destron would be understanding to his plight.

Stunned, the other mech stood there, staring incredulously at the spy before he was able to even process to the ridiculous demand. "You want me to go back?," Death Cobra gaped, his disdain clear in his vocalizer.

Hellbat's helm shot up, his servos clasping together nervously before his chestplates. "The truth is, I've made some stupid mistakes lately and I've made the lieutenant commander angry," he confessed, optics dimming contritely, "So, if you join, my position will be..."

The larger breastforce member spat contemptuously. "That doesn't concern me now, does it?," he growled, jabbing a finger at the blue mech. "I'm joining because the lieutenant commander asked me to. That is all!"

"I'm well aware," Hellbat tried to assuage, grabbing the other's servo, "But still I'm begging you! We're both breastforce members, aren't we? If you just make up a reason and contact the lieutenant commander, saying that you can't go-"

"I refuse!," Death Cobra roared, ripping his servo out of the surprised Destron's grip. He loomed over the shuffling Hellbat, fists balled at his sides. "You are a weak-willed glitch who does not deserve to be called a Destron!"

"Th-that's saying too much!," the cowering mech protested weakly, shuffling backwards further. The green Destron sneered, refraining from kicking Hellbat, though the desire to was high.

"Since you're a comrade, when I see the lieutenant commander, I won't mention this conversation!," Death Cobra spat, as if he was being charitable to the unworthy pile of scrap metal. Snorting, he turned around, ready to leave and meet up with Leozack.

"Wait!," Hellbat wailed, flinging himself at the retreating Destron's pedes. "I beg you! Please! Do not go!"

"I am a mech who does not arr- What the frag? Get off of me, you moron!" Death Cobra hissed as the blue mech leaped up, grasping him tightly about the waist as he continued his pathetic whining.

"No! Y-you can't go! L-lieutenant commander w-will have no use for me! He'll m-make me go away!," the spy blubbered, his optics filling up with coolant as he stared desperately up at the other breastforce member. "M-my life is m-meaningless if I can't s-serve my queen!"

"Would you -you're WHAT?," Death Cobra gaped, registering the last of what Hellbat had said. The green mech was knocked to the ground as Hellbat leapt up to his pedes, servos cupping his cheekplates as he swooned.

"My queen! Glorious, beautiful, strong, evil, ambitious, temperamental, bitchy, tough, sexy..." The cooing Destron's wings fluttered behind him as he blushed, startling Death Cobra even more, who just lay on the ground staring up at the other in utter disbelief. "Lieutenant commander is perfect! Absolutely amazing! The way he cusses, the way he beats down Cybertronians; how he smirks when he's triumphant and the way he snarls when Lord Deathsaurus gets angry with him... I never want to leave my queen's side!"

Hellbat giggled -actually giggled!- and Death Cobra shuffled back an inch in terror.

"See! See!," the blue mech demanded, bouncing in place. "If I stay near my queen, one day my efforts will be realized and my queen will see that I have always been faithful to him! A-and then, and then I will be rewarded! _Ahhhhh, Lieutenant commander_...," Hellbat cooed again, forgetting about the other Destron for a moment, "To be able to touch your beautiful plating, feel the scars and dents of your battle wounds, would be such heaven! Oh, no sweet could compare to my queen's taste, the aroma of his lubricants... the warmth of his spike in my servo, his lovely cries... t-the blessed silk of his valve..."

Hellbat shivered wantonly, his optics sparkling and his cheekplates flushed deeply under his mouthguard, traumatizing his unexpected victim further.

"I will do all in my power to make my queen feel good!," the exuberant mech shouted, turning his attention back to Death Cobra. "And then, and then, and then! Then we'll live happily ever after, my queen and I!" Hellbat fumbled to reach into his subspace, pulling out a series of holopads, jumping on Death Cobra, keeping the green mech from escaping.

"See! See! This is me and lieutenant commander in our special home up in the mountains! Here's us in the beach house we'll own, and the energy refinery we'll run... Ooh! Ooh! Here's us with all our kids! We'll have lots and lots of sparklings! Like, twelve or twenty -maybe even more! See, here's Retro, the twins Giga and Byte, Spinner, Draco, Hellwinder, Leoxena... EEEEE! Here's us at our bonding ceremony! And-"

"GET OFF OF ME, YOU FREAK!," Death Cobra screamed, unable to stand having Hellbat sitting in his lap any longer, bouncing and squealing in pitches that were audio-shattering, as picture after horribly drawn picture was thrust in his face.

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Up the hill, unnoticed, two tiny 'bots and one human watched over the scenario; plagued with mixed feelings of confusion, horror and amusement.

"...I... I don't get it...," Jan mumbled, one hand fisting his hair in his puzzlement.

"Is he... with Leozack? Just, _what?_," Holi gagged. "T-that's so gross!"

"...I-i think it's kinda cute...," Clipper mumbled to herself, one servo risen to hide her rising smile.

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**C.M.D: Ummm... yea. The idea of Hellbat drawing pictures of Leozack and him together, and being crazy weird and planning out their whole life together is... one that, sadly, fits him quite well lol And yes, Leozack is definitely Hellbat's queen~ XD Hope I made you laugh!  
Be kind; give me your mind. REVIEW, please?  
**


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